As you can see by the date of my last entry, it’s been almost a month since I’ve written to you. Honestly, things have been ridiculously busy. To be even more honest, I’m far beyond feeling overwhelmed.
We closed on our house in St. Louis. I’ve been coordinating with the contractor on the renovations so the house will be ready when you get there. Here in Salt Lake, we’re slowly packing and preparing for the move. I’m working more hours to get things in order so I can still do the same jobs, only while living in St. Louis.
I’ve been writing a new book. I’m currently reading three. I do a podcast with friends, which requires a lot of reading, movie watching and note taking. We’re trying to find time to hang out with all of our friends before we move, so our nights and weekends are scheduled down to the minute.
There’s more, but you get the point.
During this busy period I’ve failed to make writing you a priority. What’s worse, I haven’t felt compelled to write to you in the first place. Even though we’ve been busy and there’s a lot to talk about I don’t really have much of value to say.
How did I go from having too much to say to you to virtually nothing at all? How is it that not so long ago just being with you brought world-changing perspective, and now…?
That’s it, isn’t it? I haven’t “just been with you” much over the past month.
Full disclosure: Your mom and I didn’t see each other yesterday, which was our four-year anniversary. We didn’t even text happy anniversary to one another.
I’m not telling you this to make an excuse, or to show you you’re not the only one I’ve been too busy for lately. I’m telling you because it’s the truth. I’m telling you so you see how out of whack my priorities have been lately.
You know what else I realize? I haven’t written anything new about my relationship with and understanding of God over the past month either. I’ve really slacked off on prayer – both by myself and with your mom. When I’ve tried to wedge in reading my bible it hasn’t done much for me.
As I write this it’s becoming obvious that when one relationship is out of whack it throws all of them off kilter.
What’s really sobering is the truth that I’ve abused the idea of ‘quality over quantity’ this month. When it comes to relationships you have to spend a large quantity of time in order to get to the quality time.
The reason I haven’t had anything new to write to you about is the same reason I haven’t had anything new to write about God – I haven’t spent enough time with either of you.
Lewis, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been too focused on doing things for our family and myself that I haven’t spent much time with you over the past month.
God, I’m sorry I’ve been so focused on doing things for my family and myself that I haven’t spent much time with you over the past month.
Be patient with me – both of you.
I’ve only got a few weeks before you and your mom move to St. Louis, which means I won’t see you for a month. I promise to spend every second I can with you. The same promise goes for God. I know quantity will lead to quality in our relationship – with both of you.
I love you, Lewis. This month I’ll spend more time proving it.
Are you making the same mistake I’ve been making – spending more time doing things for someone than actually being with them?
Can the same be said for your relationship with God?
Do you think maybe there’s a connection between your disconnect?
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