If You Would Just Come To Me

Dear Lewis,

Lately, you’ve been in the habit of having a great day right up until about an hour before I get home. Your mother loves you and I know she takes care of you. What I don’t know is why you become The Monster every evening around 4:30pm.

In the past we’ve been quick to comfort you when you cry. We pick you up, play with you, even give you snacks in an attempt to calm you. But, you’re 10 months old now. Maybe we should have started sooner but we decided a few days ago not to pick you up or drop whatever we’re doing every time you cry.

We’re not ignoring you. We haven’t abandoned you. We just want you to learn to come to us for the things you need.

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Mommy Almost Murdered Papa At City Museum…Almost

Dear Lewis,

Mommy almost murdered Papa today. I’d like to believe I’m using hyperbole to immediately engage you in this story. However, mothers are capable of anything when they feel their children are in danger. She searched caves, a forest, even the belly of a whale when she thought something had happened to you. Taking a life to save yours isn’t outside the realm of possibilities.

But, let me explain.

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Somehow, Love Grows

December 23rd, 2014

Dear Lewis,

My heart is beating out of my chest. My eyes still sting. It’s nearly impossible for me to take a full breath. This isn’t panic, Lewis. This is Love. Pure Love. Overwhelming Love. It’s Love like I’ve never known. Lewis, I’m going to be a daddy again!

Today was stressful. A hundred things slowed us from getting on the road to Kansas City to spend Christmas with the family. Your mom knew I was feeling stressed so she did most of the packing and loading while I finished working. Finally, we got into the car to head out of town.

Before I put the car in drive your mom said she wanted to give me my Christmas present. She handed me an envelope. Inside was a card, which held my true present – a positive pregnancy test. Instantly, I was a sobbing mess. I kissed your mother and told her a dozen times I was so unbelievably happy. A few minutes later, composure regained, we set off on our three-and-a-half hour drive to Kansas City.

I didn’t even make it to the highway before I started crying again. I cried, off and on, all the way to Columbia, which is about half way.

Lewis, my tears were more than just the overflow of joy that comes from incredible news. They were tears of love and relief. It might sound strange to say “relief.” In fact, that may not be the best word. But it’s the most honest word.

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