Martin, Music & Change

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Dear Lewis,

As you grow up, one of your heroes should absolutely be Martin Luther King Jr. You’re going to hear a lot of white people like me say that, especially this time of year, but I promise you I mean it. When you’re old enough, we’ll read and discuss his “Letter From a Birmingham Jail” (you can thank your Uncle Josh for making me read the letter for the first time). We’ll listen to his sermon  “But If Not“, and then talk about the difference between what he calls If Faith and Though Faith.

But first, we’ll probably talk about the importance music played in the March on Washington, where Dr. King gave his legendary “I Have a Dream” speech.

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I Could Eat You Up. Really.

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Dear Lewis,

I love everything about you. I love your smell, your smile, the way you sleep. I love the way you giggle when we change your poopy diaper, the way you look back at us and grin when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to, even your pouty face. Near the top of my list though is kissing you.

I love to kiss your cheeks, your forehead, your belly, your chubby thighs, and even your back because it always makes you laugh.

Conservatively, I bet I kiss you one hundred times a day. My goal is one thousand. About every tenth kiss I’m overcome with the desire to bite you. I never understood the idiom “So cute I could just eat you up” until you were born.

With your mom there’s the longing in me to be one with her. It’s deeper than sex. It’s a desire to, at times, be absorbed into her; to truly be one.

With you I’m so out of my mind with love that sometimes, if I’m not careful, I want to actually consume you.

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Resolution: Free Myself From Past Failures

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Dear Lewis,

You’re going to hear a lot of talk about resolutions – promises people make, usually about how they’re going to better themselves in some way – this time every year. For a lot of us resolutions aren’t the start of something new. Rather, they’re a rededication to something that once was.

Leading up to Thanksgiving, I was in the habit of writing for at least 3 hours a day. All of the things that accompanied the move to St. Louis, the holidays and the blessing of getting to see family for an extended amount of time prevented me from doing much writing at all.

The same goes for my prayer life.

To be honest, no one prevented me from doing anything. I used my situation as justification for not doing what I know I should; what God has called me to do.

So, I’m studying the story of Daniel to remind myself that greater men than me have allowed their situation to justify their inaction, and that things don’t have to be this way next time around.

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You’re Sick, Lewis. So Am I.

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Dear Lewis,

The past few days have been crazy. It has nothing to do with Christmas. It has everything to do with you getting sick for the first time.

It was Christmas Eve. You and I were hanging out like we do every morning. Except this morning, even though you hadn’t eaten for 11 hours, you weren’t interested in your bottle. I kept at it, and half an hour later, and less than half your bottle later, you puked on your self, on me, the couch, even the floor.

You didn’t cry, but I panicked.

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