God Loves Me? I Doubt It.

Dear Lewis,

As my son you’re bound to inherit many of my traits. I pray my love for God and my desire to create are passed on to you. I hope the thrill of the unknown captures your heart as it has mine. There’s at least one quality I hope isn’t passed along: no matter how clearly God shows His love for me, I still question Him.

DNA and genetics are hardwired into us. Our instincts are not easily altered. But Jesus says, “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)

If you’re saddled with my struggle to trust God’s love, to know what being loved really means, as always, look to Jesus’ example. Look at how he understood the love of The Father.

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Examining My Reflection

Dear Lewis,

In the month since you were born your mom hasn’t had any time alone. So, tonight I stepped up to give her what she needed. That’s a lie. I stepped up to get what I wanted.

Tonight, for the first time, you and I went on an adventure all by our selves!

I loaded you, your diaper bag, and my iPod into the car before setting off on our journey. Normally, you fall asleep after being in the car for 10 minutes.

But not tonight.

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The Answer To The Question: Who Are You?

Dear Lewis,

The other day I told you that opposition from the enemy always follows a true encounter with God. Ask any follower of Christ and they’ll tell you the very thing they feel God speaking over them is the very thing they find called into question.

This is exactly what Jesus experienced in the desert after his baptism; a fact that I hope you will find most comforting in your own times of questioning.

And Lewis, you will question God.

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When We Recognize God’s Voice

Dear Lewis,

It finally happened. There’s not a doubt in my mind. It took 5 months and 11 days, but it happened.

Your mom called this afternoon to talk about buying a basket she’d found to hold your toys. When I responded, she couldn’t hear me because you were making loud cooing noises and excited squeals. It took her a minute, but she got you to be quiet, and we finished our conversation.

A few hours later she called again. And, again, she couldn’t hear what I was saying because of the noises you were making.

Right before I left work your mom called to ask if I’d stop off to get a pizza for dinner. As I tried to ask what toppings she wanted you started in with your high-pitched squeals and Gollum-like cackles.

Your Uncle Josh called while I was waiting at the pizza place. We had a good chat that ended right as I was opening the door to our apartment. I stood in the entryway, arrested by your bright eyes and broad smile. That’s when your mom said it:

“He recognizes your voice.”

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Why Questioning God Is Normal

Dear Lewis,

I don’t know what God has planned for you. I can tell you that you’ll never be more confident in who you are than when you know what He’s called you to do with your life. On the other hand, I know you’ll never question yourself, your calling, and your God more than you will once He makes that calling clear.

Don’t worry though:

Jesus went through the same thing.

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Daddy, Don’t Leave Me

Dear Lewis,

When I got home from work tonight your mom was rushing out the door to a dentist appointment. You’d just eaten and had your diaper changed, so you were lying quietly, rocking in your swing, for the five minutes we talked in the living room. She left and I stood in front of your swing, talking to you about my day.

Your eyelids began to flutter, like maybe you were going to fall asleep. I whispered that I was going to get something to eat, and then I’d be right back. But, as I walked away you began to cry.

I turned around, asked you what was wrong, and immediately you stopped crying. So I stood there and kept talking. A big yawn over took your sweet little face, and you settled into the calm.

Until I tried to walk away.

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Wisdom Literature: Put Me in the Zoo

Dear Lewis,

Once upon a time there was a man who was rarely seen without a book in his hands. He loved all kinds of books. Classics, like The Brothers Karamazov. Epic fantasies like the Lord of the Rings. Books by spiritual giants such as C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton and D.L. Moody.

Then, the goblin prince was born. The man who loved books was charged with becoming the goblin prince’s servant, caring for the prince night and day. For months the servant was unable to read the books he loved.

One day, while the man was scrubbing the prince’s dishes he felt a tug at his pants. The prince had brought his servant a present: a hardback book. Although it was small, brightly colored, and written by an unfamiliar author, the servant was grateful for the chance to read again.

So the servant escorted the goblin prince to the royal play mat, and then began reading Put Me in the Zoo, by Robert Lopshire.

The story would change the servant’s life forever.

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Raising A Dangerous Kid

Dear Lewis,

While we were on vacation you rolled over from your back to your stomach. Usually, babies first roll from their stomach to their back because it’s easier. But you did it the hard way first. You get that from your mom.

Today, though, you finally rolled over from your stomach onto your back. Your mom and I were both there to witness the event.

To be honest, it was terrifying.

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Jeff Goins: Share Your Gifts

Dear Lewis,

One thing I love about the Internet is that it makes wisdom so accessible. When you find someone whose words are worth listening to, listen closely:

Our talents and skills are not intended only to be used for our own good. They’re meant to be shared as an offering to the world. A gift in the truest sense of the word. – Jeff Goins*

Wisdom is easy to pinpoint, because all of it has one thing in common: in one way or another, Jesus said it first.

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